D recently turned two years old and he’s starting to really play & fight with his older sister. E may struggle with social skills but D is definitely typically developing and has no problems whatsoever in that area.

He alternates between tender adoration of E and then stealing her toys and making her cry. It’s so much fun to watch them at this age as they negotiate the terms of their siblingship and learn how to live and play together. I hope their bond only grows deeper and stronger as they age and I hope that D grows into the type of man who will always be there to support his sister.

I struggle as mom to both of them between balancing my desires for E and balancing my desires for D. Sometimes the two are mutually exclusive. On the one hand, I want D to be the hands and eyes for E that I could never be. I won’t be able to be at school, watching her like a hawk for bullies or other difficulties, but D eventually will. I hope he develops a strong sense of protection for his big sister and learns to fight for her if she doesn’t have the skills to defend herself. But on the other hand, D is just a little boy, too and he didn’t ask to be born with a special needs older sister. I don’t want his life to be defined by her difficulties. I want him to be burdened for her but not by her, if that makes any sense. How do I balance the two? How do I teach him to be compassionate for her and not selfish in his own desires, but also give him the freedom to grow up and be a man outside of his role as her little brother? I don’t know, I don’t have the answers. I’m desperately praying that God give both J & me the wisdom we need to raise this curious little boy into a godly young man. I’m sure we’ll mess up along the way so I’m also desperately praying that He give D the grace to be fine despite our mistakes.

Ah, man. Sometimes I think it’d just be easier if my kids both stayed 4 & 2 years old forever.