It’s the Fourth of July today; our entire country is enjoying yummy BBQ food and watching fireworks to celebrate Independence Day. While my belly is also filled with its fair share of hot dogs and potato salad, my heart is full and celebrating something else altogether.

I’d say that one of the more difficult aspects of E being on the spectrum is watching her socialize with others (or not socialize, if I want to be more accurate heh). I used to teach preschool so I know what crazy and silly things four-year-olds are capable of saying and imagining both by themselves and with their friends. My immediate circle of 5 mommy friends – including myself – have 11 kids split amongst us and all our kids are around the same age. I’ve watched these kids grow up and go through the same milestones and developmental stages as E, from as early as rolling over to things like the first day of preschool.

When we received her diagnosis almost two years ago, I’d have to say that none of my friends really knew how to handle it. Heck, I didn’t know how to handle it. I watched as my friends’ kids grew closer in their friendships with each other while mine was still happy to doodle off in the corner by herself. At the time, it hurt and I didn’t really know what I should do about it. The other kids sensed that she was different but even if they tried to engage her, oftentimes she wouldn’t respond to them. I felt like my mommy friends were indifferent in regards to how their kids acted towards mine. Not exactly neglectful in their interactions, but not proactive either; nobody ostracized her but nobody made a concerted effort. It hurt my mommy heart like nothing else.

A few months back, I stumbled across this post and for some reason it made me so sad. I’d love for E to have a friend like that who just gets her for who she is and is willing to be persistent in playing with her even if she seems uninterested.  The thing is, in so many ways she is just like any other 4-year-old and loves it when she is able to connect with a same-age friend. If I tell her that we’re going to play at so-and-so’s house, she jumps with excitement and smiles really brightly. She understands what it is to be liked and to have friends but doesn’t have the same social skills that other kids do to play with others. And like the example in the post I linked above, I think it takes a certain type of child (patient, flexible, enthusiastic, etc) to be able to be friends with an autistic child. I felt sad because I wasn’t really sure if there was anyone in our immediate circle of moms/families/kids who would be willing or able to be that friend to E.

But something has shifted in the past several months. I’ve noticed not only the other kids in our immediate circle making more of an effort to include E, but I’ve also noticed the other parents taking a larger interest in her as well. Today we had a BBQ all together, and it was probably the first time I truly felt like my daughter wasn’t singled out & alone. Of course, she was still spending a majority of the time playing on her own or doing her own thing but I saw the other kids and parents making an effort here and there to talk to her or play with her. She was by herself but not because she was being ignored. As her mom, there’s nothing that makes me happier than to see that my child is happy and cared for by those around her. She might not yet have a friend who really understands her and wants to play with her but I think what I saw tonight was a step in the right direction. And that, I think, it something truly worth celebrating.